What has your attention?

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Today is Monday is August 26

I sent my daughters back to school this morning. Rebekah started her junior year with excitement and a wee bit of uncertainty. Rachel started middle school with a stomach full of butterflies and a face full of make up. She is starting a new journey of finding out who she is becoming and Rebekah is in the middle of a season really beginning to walk in a new confidence. She has become the preppy girl who loves her pearls. Rachel is discovering make up and that real cuss words do exist.  This morning as I prayed over them they giggled and tears filled my eyes.  So much can change in a year. I look back to where I was a year ago. In a full time job entering into year 2 of our church plant and really seeking Gods voice in my life and begging Him for change.  One year later I am unemployed, entering year 3 of our church and I am desperate to hear Gods voice. 

Colossians 3:16

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God

The word dwell actually means-  keep the attention of/live as a resident and richly means - in full measure. 

When we allow Gods word to live in us and to have our full attention we then begin to walk in the fullness of Him. It's a beautiful picture of letting His word fill us up in those seasons of drought, numbness, anger or fear.  It's Him we need not direction, or answers or healing. What if the healing doesn't come? What if the relationship you dreamed of doesn't really exist? What if that dream you have chased doesn't come true? Our response to the word defines the direction we then take. Satan intends for evil to triumph and to bring about addiction and behavior and defeating thoughts to get the best of us. It's Gods word dwelling richly in us that alters that and brings forth Joy and surrender when you can't seem to do it yourself.  Today as you look at your life ask yourself this question.  Does The truth of Gods word  have my full attention? Because ultimately what has your attention has your heart.  In my life I have taken Christ off the thrown many times and replaced His truth with food and shameful thoughts and 

then my actions followed accordingly.  The bible can be so intimidating and full of words that aren't used in my vocabulary thats why I have to break down the words and its like it then comes alive to me. The Creator of the universe wants to talk to me. He is constant. He is always ready to fill me up so I can walk in the Fullness of His goodness no matter how bad things seem.  When I was in New York a few days ago I literally realized that I was begging God to speak to me  in one of the loudest places ever. I kept trying to hear His voice but I was so consumed by other things that I couldn't. I had to literally clean out some thoughts, offer up repentance and take away the noise that filled my heart and mind.  My full attention wasn't on God it was on begging Him for direction and asking for answers.  I thought it would be like time square and the answers would be obvious but instead He continues to direct me toward His word and Him alone and that is my direction.

Be encouraged!! 

Are you ignoring me?

Have you ever wanted to hear Gods voice so badly that you literally found yourself listening as if your life depended on it? I have cried out to God and now I am waiting for Him to speak. Today as I washed dishes I looked out and the bird that has been living in the bush in front of my window has now had 4 beautiful little baby birds. They chirp so loudly it reminds me of a young toddler saying "mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy" over and over until the mom finally says WHAT in a stern but attentive voice. All the birds have made it out of the nest but for some reason for what seemed like a lifetime one small little one stayed on a very high branch surrounded by sticky and sharp leaves chirping with all it had. The others were trying to fly and jumping from one branch to another all the while the mom was so busy going back and forth and out and in with food that it was as if she was ignoring this poor little bird. I stood there with tears in my eyes and said God why aren't you speaking to me? I need you to guide me and just like this bird You are ignoring me. I walked away and hours later I walked back in and the chirping was gone and all the little birds including the mom were all in the nest and peace was among them.  My heart melted as I watched this mom who had worked all day gathering, feeding, responding, jumping etc rest with her babies close.  I blogged the other day on how God never stops and yet today I felt this overwhelming heart cry that God wasn't listening to me. I rode down the road today silent in my car praying out loud and even looked at bumper stickers, road signs and billboards for a sign from God and yet got nothing. I know my calling. I know what  I love to do and what I am passionate about.   I have been unemployed now for 7 months and its time for the unemployment to stop coming in and I need to know the direction I am heading. Its weird the peace I have. I have no worry,  or anxiety but I just think that if you want to walk in obedience God should say here go this way.  I realized tonight as I sat alone  in my laundry room manually turning each cycle (because the stupid thing is broken) that God is my direction. Wait what? That simple? Yes it is. He is my provider. He is my strength. He is my future.  I seek Him and I find exactly what I need to walk in wisdom NOW. I use my time wisely and leave the results to my Creator. Gods blessings come and I often stiff arm them because I feel like I don't deserve them. I have literally transferred my feelings from my past and projected those onto God. The one who redeemed me without any strings attached.   Redeeming love is a reoccurring theme in my head these days and I believe some of you can relate to my day. My request seems very small to your current desperation and I am sorry for the whining but I need you to know that God does hear us. From the smallest of request to the gut wrenching cries within. He is responding, preparing, refreshing, healing and doing things we can't understand. Just like those birds,  cry  out to Him with all you have and as long as you need to but after you lay your request and tears out then find rest in Him. I am in a place of total surrender once again and there is nothing I can do but trust, listen with intent and keep my eyes fully on Him. Be encouraged! He is listening. 

Colossians 4:5/6 

WALK in WISDOM toward outsiders making THE BEST USE OF YOUR TIME. Let your speech be generous and always seasoned with salt so that you may know how to answer each person. 

One thing remains...

It seems as though everyone goes to the beach to relax, renew and to see the beauty of Gods magnificent power in the creativity of the shore line. The waves roll in non-stop. Some are huge and some are so tiny they dissolve before they even hit the tips of your toes. I love to sit at the edge where the water rolls in just enough to cool you off but not knock you down or cover you with the salt water and fill your bathing suit with wet sand.  When you pull away from the every day chaos it's easy to see God and often hear His voice.  I listened with such intent this week. I prayed for direction as a new season approaches. I prayed for my church and the leadership. I prayed for my husband and my beautiful daughters. I prayed for my friendships and the ladies who I pour into as well as my mentor who pours into me. I read through 2 chronicles and took so many nuggets of truth away and wrote them on my heart.  I am overwhelmed by His goodness as I saturate myself in His word and really embrace this concept of walking in the  FULLness of God.   A few things really stuck out to me this week. Late one night we sat on the beach in the sand and watched for shooting stars. The sound of the waves crashed into the shore line so loudly all the while worship music was being played and sang. It was def a God moment.  Another moment that happened was yesterday when Kelsey and I decided to sit literally at the edge of the water in our bathing suits that were covered in clothes and towels that covered our heads to block the rain from hitting our faces. I kept staring into the water and finally  I got up and just went running into the ocean.  I haven't been swimming in the ocean in like 5 years so this was a big deal. I laughed and told Kelsey that it was my YOLO moment however I found myself begging God to not let me get eaten by a shark.  I jumped over waves and laughed so hard every time I would get knocked down. As I walked out of the ocean in the pouring rain I took a deep breath and knew it was def a God moment. Another moment was this; each morning I would get up and sit on the deck with my friends.  We would first sit in silence as we read Gods word and then we would all share what God had taught us individually. On Friday morning  I saw sun beaming through my blinds and because it had rained for 3 days prior I thought it was be good for us to sit on the beach and do our bible study time. It was just enough sun peeking through the clouds and yet just enough breeze. It was actually borderline chilly. I sat there watching all the different birds.  Some would walk so fast down the beach looking for something frantically.   Some would fly without stopping because it was as if they had somewhere they had to be. This one bird showed up behind me with the most beautiful white feathers alone and just walking across the sand. Not rushing or acting as if the world was getting on its nerves.  It was def a God moment.  You see God never stops working, healing, speaking, redeeming, loving and so on. He is constant. I realized in all of those moments from early morning sunrises to late night talks God never stopped being God. I can unplug from the world and yet He created it with such beauty and creativity that it never stops moving.  We often seek Him to the point of shaking our fist at Him because we think He isn't responding. We shut down and run to addictions when we think He isn't fulfilling us. We move away from our callings and walk in disobedience because we think God isn't moving fast enough.  Be encouraged today that your God is constant. He loves you with such intensity that He wouldn't dare leave you where you are. He is your redeemer. If you are walking in shame from your past today He can redeem you and make you new. If you are mad or numb to God's voice He wants to breathe new life into you.  Today things can change, slow down,  speed up or even bring about chaos that seems so overwhelming. There is one thing that never changes and that is God.  

James 1:17/18 Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession. 

Silence is golden

How many of you know people or have known people who always want to tell you all that is on their mind. They complain, they argue, they look for the negative and before you know it you are feeling like they are and you walk away defeated and drained? I read a passage in 2 Chronicles this morning about the Queen of Sheba and it says at the end of verse 1 "she told him all that was on her mind" . I laughed because I could totally picture this woman standing before Solomon in all his wisdom and splendor bobbing her head and pointing her finger at him. I also imagine him with a small but present smile on his face as she questions him to death.  Our responses and reactions to people like this are so vital. When we participate we enable. When we respond we fuel. When we speak only in truth we silence them. After Solomon answered every question it says in at the end of verse 4 "there was no more breath in her". What a funny picture she had nothing to say.  I believe that when we are in check with our own obedience and pursuit of the Lord we respond accordingly. Solomon had been blessed from his hard  work and from His obedience. We often stop working on what God has called us to do simply because we don't like or think we can do better in other people's lives. Today I encourage you to walk in tune to the heart of God and keep your eyes and ears on His truth alone so when people come at you there is no room for defeat because silence (on their part)  is simply golden.  

To live fully in Him

It has been such a long time since I have sat down and poured out my thoughts. I stopped at the end of the school year because I really wanted to soak up the fullness of my kids. I have had the best time with them by the pool and trips to carowinds among other stops along the way. I have heard them laugh until they have cried, argue until one of them apologized and I have watched each of them bloom into a new season. Rachel is wearing a little make up and obsessively dresses to impress as she moves closer to starting middle school while Rebekah is moving into a season of becoming even more of a leader. She is about to be a junior in high school and is turning 16. She is seeing friendships differently, and soaking up Jesus like never before. I am watching them step into to their callings without even being able to verbalize it just yet.  I believe God called me to step away from the computer and ease up on social media this summer because yes He wanted me to see my girls but He also wanted to remind me of what it looks like to live fully in His presence. To see Him even among the chaos. To rest in His presence when things are seemingly out of my control. To see the sky and immediately begin to thank Him.   I have experienced a renewal deep within my soul like never before in my life.  I believe that walking in the fullness of God allows our lives to to change, renew, get rid of, add to and so on because He truly wants our lives to be fully positioned to embrace the fullness of abundant living.  He is fully in love with you and He just wants you to surrender everything and fully live in Him!!! I am learning to NOT question His plan but to fully live day to day in thankfulness! The girls start back to school in just a few weeks and that means its back to writing for me. God prepare my heart<3 

Ephesians 3:19 says this "and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled with ALL the FULLNESS of God."

Skin is NOT in

Now I lay me down to sleep.... We can all finish that prayer. From very early on we learn as kids to pray for God to protect us, to bless our food and to help us in times of trouble. I am learning so much about prayer. Expectancy really comes from the depths of our faith. When we have little faith we also expect very little. When I pray for protection and then live in constant fear I am saying God this prayer is my daily ritual to you and my words are simply empty. I have walked in doubt before to the point of questioning Gods sovereignty in my life and because of that I may never know what could have happened if I would have just obeyed and walked in the promise of His yes and not the doubts and "concerns" of others.
In 2 Samuel 10:1-4 David is extending kindness regarding the death of Hanun's father. This is a simple act of kindness right? I mean when people die we go to the visitation to show the family support, if your baptist you send food and if your David you send your servants to offer condolences. This next part really allows me to see how important it is for me to surround myself with people who aren't quick to speak but are quick to seek God on my behalf. I use to jump and say yes to everything and everyone and after experiencing exhaustion, loneliness and defeat I am now learning to shift my "yes sure I can" to pressing into just Jesus and from that I am finding freedom from the bondage of what everyone expects from me. In verse 3 it says this "the ammonite nobles said Hanun their lord, "do you think David is honoring your father by sending men to you express sympathy?" 4 So Hanun seized David's men, shaved off half of each man's beard, cut off their garments in the middle at the buttocks, and sent them away." Oh my word!! I blushed for those poor men. Look how quickly things got out of hand simply because of the doubts and fear of humiliation those nobles placed in Hunan's head. In a world where "skin is in" this may be extremely hard for us to understand. Imagine with me if you will this scene where skin was not in and modesty most definitely was. Even in the new testament the pharisees clothed themselves with clothing that represented their holiness. They wore tassels that brushed the top of their feet to remind them of their deep commitment to God but the depth of their rule following also kept them from seeing the truth of who Jesus was. These nobles not only exposed those poor servants backsides they brought war on and over 40,000 died because of their empty and paranoid words. We have to seek God first in every single decision we make. The effects of our decisions will not only determine who sees Jesus clearly but also just how deep our faith is. If we offer up empty words or shallow prayers that usually reflects how shallow our faith is and sadly those are the steps we begin to take. It's time to change your thoughts " if I just pray then God will." Yes He provides and yes he heals He is the Great I AM! However He has also gifted you and equipped you to carry out the purpose He has for your life. Those steps often require blind faith. That means seeing nothing and just going for it. Today what is it that your so afraid of? God has called each of us out of darkness, redeemed us in order to carry out His perfect will. You have to trust that He is bigger than the insecurities that haunt you. Your insecurities give birth to weaknesses and before you know it you feel so far from becoming who you know you are called to be. We hide behind religious duties and allow other people to speak untruths to us. Your life is marked by choices and the words we speak or do not speak. That voice speaking to you even now telling you to pick up a pen to write, chase that dream that is within reach, surrendering and letting go of unforgiveness. There is so many words we can choose today and just like those nobles changed the course of history by causing bloodshed in war your words also carry so much weight. Maybe it's time you and I fell to our knees or even positioned ourselves before the throne with new words of surrender. I believe that God sees the posture of our hearts and bodies and delights in it.

Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, (Philippians 2:9, 10 ESV)

His name should stir emotions and bring us to a place of constant worship and surrender. When we are faced with tragedy and pain it's in us to fall to our knees. What if we chose to get down on our knees with a heart fully abandoned to our ways and yet fully surrendered to His plans. Guilt and shame only comes from the enemy. It's time to move in the direction of Gods redeeming love. Let His words transform your thoughts and the way you view your circumstances. The season you are in is not by mistake even if someone else caused you to be there. God hears you and wants to carry that pain. Lets bow before Him with arms stretched out wide and hearts positioned as we lay every joyful thought and heart wrenching pain before Him and wait with expectation for change.

Don't just sit and watch-

Luke 5:17-26

17One day as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law, who had come from every village of Galilee and from Judea and Jerusalem, were sitting there. And the power of the Lord was present for him to heal the sick. 18Some men came carrying a paralytic on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. 19When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. 20When Jesus saw their faith, He said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”21The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, “Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?”22Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, “Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? 23Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? 24But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins….” He said to the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” 25Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. 26Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, “We have seen remarkable things today.”

Verse 20 says that Jesus SAW their faith. In order for Jesus to SEE their faith they had to be DOING something. We seem to be ok with just watching miracles and dreams come true for other people's lives and only daydream about God doing incredible things in our lives. I don’t want to watch I want to ENCOUNTER IT! When Jesus healed Him it says in verse 25 IMMEDIATELY he stood and WENT. When Jesus did a work in his life it didn’t say he got up and stood around watching, NO HE MOVED and began his journey back home praising God. I thought about all the people He ran into along the way. Did he keep quiet as he scurried home as a healed man?? Absolutely not. Despite the obstacles surrounding him he was persistent because he needed to see Jesus. We allow so many obstacles to stand in our way of encountering Jesus. Man made traditions which is often legalism, the dirtiness of our past, our fears and the list could go on. For this man it was the crowd. People were standing around watching, and the Pharisees were ready for Jesus to mess up so they really had no real interest in encountering Jesus for themselves but these men were so persistent they had to get pass the crowd to just see Jesus! There is an old song by Barlow Girl that says "and I’ll stop this pretending that I can somehow deserve what I already have “. I know so many people who are ok with how their lives and have adapted to their circumstances. They go to work, they go to games and attend church weekly and yet they have no passion for JESUS and all the while question God's plan. I have been in that place myself and it was boring unfulfilling and got me no where. Where is your dream? Where is your gifting? I truly believe God can and will use you in the middle of your circumstances. If you think about it did Jesus really rock my world for me to sit back and watch? In 1 John 3:1 it says this " SEE what great love the Father has lavished on us that would be children of God!" The word lavish means, mark by excess more than a specific amount. You have been shown such lavish love and such an excess amount of grace how could we ever be silent.