God isn't Santa Clause

As I laid in bed before daylight this morning I didn't want to get up and I couldn't go back to sleep. I tossed and turned and decided to spend the next few quiet moments taking some much needed things to Jesus.  I asked for some pretty bold things, repented of some things and while I was talking to Him I thought how I must sound like a broken record at times.  I picture God saying "well here comes Holly again with the same thing she asked me for just a few days ago".  Now I know that God isn't like this but when I am asking Him for the very same things over and over I often wonder what He thinks.  I am learning a few things about my prayer life as well as prayer in general and I want to share with you. 

#1 It's not the words that you use that move the hand of God - 

Matthew 6:7

"When you pray, don’t babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again."

When we pray with empty words and promises to do something in order to get God to bend to our request we have made it about us. It's easy to pray for other people because we want them to change rather than loving them where they are and praying for our words, actions and lives to be an instrument of hope and change in their lives. Praying with intent of allowing God to do what He wants and wills is an act of surrender. Prayers laced with surrender takes the power out of your hands of trying to manipulate and rightfully places God in charge no matter the outcome.  When we pray for others we essentially stand in the gap for them therefore we must make sure our motives in praying reflect that. I never want my prayers to sound like a never ending song. I have so many women surrounding me that are numb, or their marriage seems to be failing apart along with others who have no desire to pursue Jesus any longer based on what seems His inactivity.  I believe that when we let our words reflect the desperation of our hearts God reaches in and our hearts begin to shift.  Pray with words that are not rooted in religion but instead rooted in the very love you have for Jesus. 

2. Prayer is essential to your growth

I want nothing more than to see my church grow, to lose weight, to get a new car and to have my girls grow in their passion for Jesus. I pray on a regular basis about my needs and the things I want to happen not realizing all that God is doing in me through this season I am in. I believe it's the things that keep us in desperation for Him that also brings maturity to our faith. We grow when we are depending fully on Gods strength & His provision to carry us, mold us and grow us into who He created us to be.  When you feel as if you have no words to reach the heavens know that God already knows,  so just praise Him and thank Him for the process.  We crave completion and prayer is our connection to the ONE and only completion we will ever obtain. God doesn't allow us to stay where we are instead He uses every word spoken or not spoken, every tear cried on an altar or words written in a journal to move us and to grow us so we must allow our prayers to stretch us. 

3. What is it that you truly need

God isn't Santa clause. That's a tough reality for many including myself to swallow at times. When you need healing to come or a financial miracle to take place it's easy to beg God with open arms for the result we want. For the girl who wants that perfect guy to the guy who needs that acceptance letter to prove himself to his parents that he is enough I get it. We crave to be known in a world that pushes that concept in every area of social media to books that line the shelves in every store. We need for things to workout and through prayer our wants become the very driving force of our communication with God. The depth of our faith is measured by how much we trust God. When I lose, or when I don't get what I want my response clearly shows the condition of my heart and just how much I truly trust my Creator. He tells us in Romans 8:28 that ALL things work together and yet we usually forget that when things don't go the way we plan. If I am honest with myself I have wanted some pretty shallow material things and while praying I have tucked them in between the words of my needs. If I ask myself what it is that I truly need it's not those things at all. When we allow our need to be known to connect with a want we will eventually be in the danger zone of pride.  

4. Pray as if you are free 

So many times I find myself saying I'm sorry for past sins and yet live as if I was never forgiven. Freedom is the very reason Jesus died (Galatians 5:1) and we have to come boldly Into His presence and stand in our redemption.  Struggles are real but Gods redeeming grace and love will always win. 

These are just a few truths that God seems to be showing me in this season of my life.  There are days where we can feel the weight of our daily stress or thoughts that push us towards defeat and instead of throwing our hands up in complete surrender we ball our fist and shake it at God. The beautiful thing about freedom is that it blooms out of our surrender. God wants you to freely walk in the fullness of His power and presence. Defeat is not an option when you are choosing to walk in the One who has already won!   

How can I pray for you today? 

spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.....

Kids are so curious and yet have no idea how much they inwardly crave boundaries to ensure safety.  Teenagers know boundaries ensure safety yet push them with intent to bend them.  As adults we create them within the context of how they benefit us by acting as if they don’t exist or enforcing them with the intent of measuring others by them.  As I was writing this morning I was listening to Oceans in the background and as I heard  “spirit lead me where my trust is without borders” my heart began to surface the areas of distrust in my own life and as I began to confess those areas of unbelief tears began to stream down my face.  You see God isn’t mad at me when I don’t trust Him nor does He ever do anything to spite me because I choose not to trust.  To trust God without borders simply means there is absolutely NOTHING out of His reach.  There is no sin that can’t be redeemed. There is no marriage that can’t be restored. There is no sexual past that can’t be healed. There is no hole that He can’t fill. Our longing for more is what creates boundaries within our hearts. We seek to fill the shallow places within our lives that only leave us with a deeper longing for more of something else.  When we choose to allow our unbelief to guide the direction of our words and ultimately our feet we will never end up in a place of contentment. Jesus has to be our go to when everything falls apart and when everything is going incredible.  We can fake happiness by wearing a plastic smile all day or we can let our love for the Creator be the driving force behind our unstoppable and relentless Joy. Circumstances can crumble but Joy will not be shaken. Circumstances can leave you sobbing in desperation buy Joy will not be shaken. God’s protection over His children is something we can’t fathom to the point we fill like we have to stick our nosey selves in and begin manipulating the outcomes of our lives.  

My heart aches this week for so many women who have expressed such frustration towards God. They look at the walls closing in on them as a punishment from God.  Ladies hear me say that God’s silence in your chaos isn’t punishment but a call to trust Him without borders.  Ladies your marriage that seems to be falling apart isn’t a punishment from God but a call to trust Him without borders. To the girl who is starving herself because her peers are telling her she isn’t good enough and the mirror reinforces it God isn’t mad at you, He is calling you to trust Him without borders. 

In the beginning of time the enemy distorted God’s truth and today he uses religion to distort the beauty of God’s word in our lives by creating this expectancy of perfection that is paired with rules.   When we begin pursuing God alone we can identify truth and we can identify the lies from the enemy. We respond differently in every situation no matter chaotic or not. We can’t be shaken or moved because our deepest roots are within a God that will never be shaken.  Today I believe some of you including myself have to lay down manipulation once and for all. By creating boundaries that only benefit us blurs the beauty of the immeasurably more that is just around the corner. 

Trusting God without borders is calling you and I into deeper waters and that is scary.  Psalm 34:4 says “ I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.”  What represents your “deeper water” this morning?  Maybe it is finally forgiving someone that hurt you in ways that have left you wounded. I am so sorry for that pain but I know that God is a God that heals and provides restoration.  Maybe it is finally letting your money be His money.  I know you need things and want things to better your family and so does God.  Maybe it is embracing a new season without fear of “what if”. God loves you more than you could ever imagine and He wants you to walk out of this season and into a new one with your heart positioned to hear from Him and to just walk with Him and I promise your faith will deepen.

 Lets trust Him ladies without any strings attached. I believe that when we do a joy that is unexplainable begins to stir within us and passions are birthed and dreams take flight. Others are blessed because our lives aren’t about us but about God. Our families are strengthened and our marriages gain momentum.  God isn’t calling you out where He isn’t but instead He is taken you places you can never imagine. My prayer for you is that those borders you are afraid to come to or to cross over will become land to possess in JESUS NAME! 

Joshua 1:9 “ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you WHEVEVER YOU GO.”  

God uses silly things including photo booths

Last week Richard and I made a trip to my home away from home Anderson SC. We went there to help celebrate 20 years of Clayton King ministries. His faithfulness to loving God and loving people blows me away & Sharie's heart is no different. They are literally changing the world!  It was decorated so beautifully and the food was outstanding. They also had a photo booth with lots of props. Richard and I along with Joseph (Clayton and Sharie's youngest son) grabbed a few things and I would say whether to smile or to make a face. We laughed through most of the pictures and not one picture had all of us actually smiling.  A few days passed and I found the pictures I had taken and as I looked at them I started laughing and I also learned a few things. The way I took the first set of pictures is how I often treat God.  He will show me clarity and direction and because I'm fearful or can't understand or see the end result I often choose to do what makes me happy or feels comfortable acting as if I heard nothing at all. I remember looking at the screen and saying "ok on this next picture smile" but because I was looking at my body and making sure I was standing at an ok angle I missed the flash and Joseph and Rich we're smiling and I looked like a zombie hahaha. I had a desired outcome and yet it was the opposite that actually happened. 

I am also learning that Gods provision is a step of trust without questioning His means. I must choose not to manipulate the areas I can or can't see. In the picture I would try and position a prop to hide certain areas and I realized that it has nothing to do with what people can see but everything to do with my heart. We try and maneuver and change things to fit into our lives the way we think God should provide but we really can't manipulate the hand of God no matter how hard we try.  Today there may be areas of your life that you don't trust God and I believe He is calling you to let go of the unbelief because you will never move forward until you do.  

Later in the evening my friend Mollie and I decided to jump in the photo booth. We grabbed glasses. hats, and a sign and because we had done it before we knew how long to wait before the flash and we knew how to get the pictures we wanted & yes they were so cute. I believe that when we know God in a way that requires ultimate surrender the outcome just flows out of that and because the anticipation of that outcome is removed you enjoy the moment. We step back and no longer chase a dream we just chase our Creator. Your dream is not what defines you nor should it dictate your attitude and the posture of how you worship God. Instead those dreams are a tool designed to bring glory to God and to deepen your trust and love for Him. 

God used something as simple as a photo booth with silly pictures to remind me that no matter where I stand,  I stand with my heart surrendered and positioned for whatever the outcome may be. So choose to smile today because you have a God that loves you more than you could ever imagine! 

Psalm 34:5 those who look to Him are radiant with Joy, their faces will never be ashamed. 

a burning bush told me just the other day...

The Story about Moses and the burning bush is one of my favorite stories in the Old Testament. I am such a visual learner and I like to insert myself into the story imagining what it must have looked like on that mountain, or how Moses felt when God revealed Himself through a bush.  God uses whatever it takes to get our attention and sometimes we see Him in the rainbows that follow downpours, or sunsets or sunrises over mountains and beaches but when our circumstances are out of control we begin to grasp on to whatever it is that will make us feel better. For some its addictions, for some its the comfort of remaining where you are. For others it may be the fear of whatever it is you know you are called to do and because you feel that pressure you let go of that life long dream. After reading this passage of scripture I pulled out 4 things that I want to share with you.


Exodus 3: 1 Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. ² There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. ³ So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.”
⁴ When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!”
And Moses said, “Here I am.”
⁵ “Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” ⁶ Then he said, “I am the God of your father,^[a] the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.” At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God


1. God Positioned Moses in the midst of Chaos
Moses was centered in the middle of what I am sure felt like complete chaos. Keeping a flock of sheep together, making sure they were being protected because they weren't his sheep. They were his father in law's and that had to add even more pressure of doing a good job.  Isn't that a lot like our own lives. We may not have a bunch of sheep but we have busy lives, financial stress, tons of work among other pressures that bring chaos into our lives. Just like God strategically placed Moses on that mountain  I have to remind myself that the chaos that surrounds me isn't by mistake whether brought on by myself or by someone else. God will use that chaos to draw me in and I just have to be ready to respond.


2. God got his attention where he was.
There are days where I can hear God's voice loudly and there are days I am desperate for even a whisper. I look at Moses and in the middle of that chaos God chose to use a burning bush to get his attention. It wasn't in bible study, or in the temple or on his knees worshiping it was on the side of the mountain with a bunch of sheep.  I believe we miss so many opportunities meeting with God because we try and manipulate the very hand of God reducing His presence to Sundays or in small group time. God wants our attention at all times.  I thought to myself I wonder if Jethro his father in law would have ran if he had seen a fire taking place especially with all his sheep around.  Moses was intrigued and the angel of the Lord spoke.


3. Moses turned away from the chaos to see God.
When the Angel of the Lord appeared it said that Moses saw that the bush was not being consumed so he went over there and when the Lord saw that Moses had gone to look He called out to him. This gave me chills. I have spent so much time in the past trying to see God, hear His voice and yet my eyes and heart never left the chaos of my circumstance. Moses turned away from those sheep to lock eyes on this burning bush.  God saw Him and it wasn't the angel who called out to Him but it was God himself. Don't we long to hear our names being called out of where we are. Out of a job, out of a relationship, our out of financial ruin? God wants you to shift your eyes away from the Chaos and on to Him. 


4. Reverence happened
Reverence is defined; honor, respect that is felt or shown to someone or something. (Webster)
When God called out to Moses and he responded God asked him to remove his sandals because he was standing on holy ground. He showed reverence to a very holy God by taking off  his shoes. As I began to let that sink in I realized that just like Moses had to take something off to stand in the presence of God we are also called to holiness not perfection.  Our marriages are holy grounds and our attitudes, apathy and the way we choose to treat our spouses can be things that need to come off so we can gain a deeper intimacy with them.  Our friendships, work places, ministries, dreams, school and on an on are also areas that represents holy ground in our lives. Our response to those areas are how we seek out the holiness of God and His power is made known to those around us.  They see Jesus simply because you chose to remove something to gain a clearer picture of who God is.


In the Old Testament God's presence was in places like the temple or the ark of the covenant and when Jesus came that access to God's presence opened up a deeper level of intimacy with Him. As you stand in the middle of your chaos today what represents your sandals? What needs to come off in order for you to see God in a new way. I told you I like to insert myself into scripture because for someone reason it makes it more real to me.  I want to challenge you to do the same thing with this ...


⁴ When the Lord saw that HOLLY had gone over to look, God called to her from within the bush, “HOLLY! HOLLY!”
And  Holly said, “Here I am.”
⁵ “Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your __FEAR_____, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.”


What would you insert? Pride? Sexual sin? Apathy? Disobedience? Fear? Insecurity?


Remember we serve a God that makes all things NEW and He will draw you into His presence in the craziest ways so keep your eyes open and be ready to SEE God in your own burning bush moment.

My backyard is like a symphony

The grass is green. The trees sway in tune to the breeze. Birds hop from branch to branch chirping with such intensity as they gather twigs to maintain or build their nest.  A squirrel comes on the scene running down the tree on high alert. He jumps into the next tree and then goes out on to the power line. He moves slowly across then stands and listens to what's ahead in the tree in front of him and it felt like he counted to 10 and then leaped forward.  As I sat in my car with the door open soaking up the gorgeous morning sunshine it hit me. I was still and alert and looking for the beauty of my Creator in my surroundings when He spoke. I realized that listening is one of our greatest tools into the hearts of the broken or to gain clarity and perspective.  God whispered into my heart and said "I see what you see in this moment and I created it to pull you into Me."  I got out of my car lifted my hands to the sky and simply said thank You. He then said "you desire provision and I am your provider & you want to change the world, I created it and I want that too."  I was speechless and all I could do was listen to this amazing symphony in my backyard.  There are so many who people surround us on a daily basis that are broken and searching for something to change their circumstances. 

Before Easter I gave up social media on Tuesdays. I have never participated in lent but I felt like God was calling me to give it up and spend time in prayer in order to prepare for my writing and blogging day which is Wednesday. There were some Tuesday's I would grab my phone and almost hit the Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or snapchat app. It is such a habit for me. From standing in the line at the store or walking through Target.  I miss so much. God seems to be continually showing me how many blessings there are literally right in front of me.  Since Easter I no longer have my phone in my bedroom and I am trying to keep it in the seat beside me when I'm driving rather than on my lap.  Something as small as a beep from an email coming through can trigger my thoughts into a "to do" list mode.  I then go to bed thinking about all I need to be doing rather than allowing God to consume my thoughts. 

Listening is one of the greatest qualities in a marriage or friendship. We tend to get so frustrated by our spouses, friends or kids when we think they are ignoring us or not listening. After reading about David's rash behavior of killing and ravaging towns simply because he couldn't see Gods hand I felt somewhat normal. What I know is that when I perceive God to be silent it's really Him calling me to press a little harder into my Him and to trust Him.  Just like David acted rash we often take matters into our own hands and then emptiness and sin or disappointment sets in.  How many of you have begged God to heal someone, take an addiction away or provide blessings among many other request? All of us have begged God at some point and when He appeared quiet or ignoring us we acted rash and interrupted His perfect plan.   Psalm 10 has been said to be the cry of David's heart during that time frame where he felt abandoned by God.  I love that he still recognizes Gods sovereignty as he questions where He is- 

Why, O Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? (Psalms 10:1 ESV)

The Lord is king forever and ever; the nations perish from his land. O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear (Psalms 10:1, 16, 17 ESV)

Ladies I promise He hears your every cry. He sees your anger and knows your fears. But He is YOUR King forever and ever.  Nothing will lessen or stop His deep pursuit of your heart.  Keep pressing in and wait with expectation because change is coming so don't interrupt it. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord ! (Psalms 27:14 ESV) 

pelicans, wet bottoms and self control

A few days ago I took the girls to Pelicans. This is a hot spot in Gastonia from spring all the way until fall. It serves a ton of different flavors of shaved ice and there is almost always a long line. I sat in the car while they stood in line and I watched a family walk up to the picnic tables and for the next few moments I just sat and watched them. The man walked up first and behind him was his wife and two daughters. One looked to be around 3 the other maybe a month old. He had a long beard and faded blue jeans on with a nice button down shirt. It had been raining so he sat down and slid across the bench to dry it for his family.  He then took the baby from the mom’s arms and held her so tightly while she cried and never once did he take a bite of his fast melting shaved ice.  His daughter then picked up her oversized what looked like to be grape slushy and the top fell off. He jumped up and scooped it back into her cup and wiped her face with his sleeve.  I had tears feel my eyes when we drove off because I was reminded of how much that sweet father reminded me of Jesus. His sovereignty blows me away because never once do I go unnoticed even when I can't feel, see or hear Him.  It is His attentiveness to my dreams, circumstances and doubt that sustains me when downpours come.   That father responded gently to the spills, cries and wet seats. His little girl smiled with every bite and it was as if she felt that it was the very presence of her father that made that slushy trip worth it all. There are times we feel so apathetic, numb and overwhelmed by the big and small things that we face day to day and we forget about the presence of our Creator. We respond with panic and run and then we miss out on what God has for us.  We allow our unedited emotions that are triggered by our daily circumstances to determine our choices of walking in obedience and how much we will love God and love His people.  We think it is up to us to control the things around us. Self control is one of the fruit of the spirit listed in Galatians.  I believe that this is one of the hardest areas to walk in because we like to make everything about us.  If we succeed at something we walk in this inflated since of accomplishment. When things crumble we blame ourselves or others. We make everything about US.  Self control isn’t about us. Its exercising the power of the holy spirit in us as we choose to make decisions, walk in obedience or let things go that we know isn’t going to glorify God.  One of the definitions I found in the Holman bible dictionary regarding self control was this “dispassionate approach to life” which simply means that we aren’t influenced or affected by emotions.  What if we allowed the pursuit of God and His love for us to be our only deciding factor when it comes to EVERY area of our lives?  A heart that is surrendered is a life that is positioned for God to immeasurably more.   When we aren’t exercising self control chaos will always set in and steal our joy, laughter and peace of mind.  We desire blessings and a harvest and tend forget about the process of growth in between.





Psalm 126:4-6 (Message)


And now, God, do it again-bring rains to our drought-stricken lives so those who planted their crops in despair will shout hurrahs at the harvest.  So those who went off with heavy hearts will come home laughing, armloads of blessing.





Today your drought is not the end result. Your financial ruin is not your end result. Your loneliness is not the end result. Your weight issues are not the end result. Your broken marriage is not the end result. Your past is not the end result. The list could go on and on and you need to hear that whatever is taunting you it is NOT your end result.  Your father in heaven is ready to wipe your tears, pick up your mess and bless you beyond measure. Will you choose to let your emotions run the show or will you yield to your Creator that has placed within you the power to do immeasurably MORE in His name? Choose Jesus.

Was Judas a jerk?

This week as we move towards Easter Sunday I have so many different emotions stirring in me. I am free. I am redeemed. I am loved. I have eternal security. I feel sad & I have determination.  

I have been reading about the events leading up to the cross and I couldn't help but think about the part Judas played. He was a disciple and he walked with Jesus and saw the power that was behind His love and ongoing pursuit of people all around him and yet he chose to betray Him. 

John 12: 1Then, six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus was who had been dead,[a] whom He had raised from the dead. 2 There they made Him a supper; and Martha served, but Lazarus was one of those who sat at the table with Him. 3 Then Mary took a pound of very costly oil of spikenard, anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped His feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil. 4 But one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, who would betray Him, said, 5 “Why was this fragrant oil not sold for three hundred denarii[b] and given to the poor?” 6 This he said, not that he cared for the poor, but because he was a thief, and had the money box; and he used to take what was put in it.

This struck a cord in me.  I have seen Gods power displayed in my own life through prayers being answered to dreams being birthed in me. I have watched His hand guide me and I have felt His pursuit and yet I chose to ignore Him.  At first I had such anger towards Judas and then it hit me God knew it and He wasn't surprised by it and He still chose to cover those moments with His blood.  Easter forces us to remember the cross because it is what brings us hope and the comfort that Jesus covers all sin. I am surrounded by so many people who are struggling with their marriages, money, their past and current circumstances this week and those things are big and yet all seem to be bigger than the cross. The enemy likes to keep you measuring Gods power because it keeps you constantly feeling like you aren't enough or God isn't big enough to handle the depth of your chaos. The cross should fill our hearts with new passion because satan is a liar and no matter what he throws at you what Jesus did on the cross will always be bigger. Some of you need to hear that you are beautiful, redeemed, set free, made new, protected and provided for. Whatever it is you are in need of today I promise that the cross is where you begin.  It's often our biggest perceived failures that position our hearts to embrace Gods greatest miracles.  Just like the enemy smiled and thought he had won when Jesus took His last breathe on the cross he awaits for you to crumble at the foot of your brokenness. God breathed new life into His son and He got up and walked out of that tomb. God is calling you out of your disobedience, your self hatred, addiction or whatever it is that is causing darkness to lurk around you because He wants you to experience His power of redemption like never before. Be set FREE!