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Wednesday, July 8, 2015

My bed is uncomfortable & blah blah blah

There are so many emotions stirring in me.  I along with my team of 7 (5 women and 2 teenagers) from my church as well as some others from others parts of NC and Texas served a group of girls from an orphanage in Honduras. I played basketball full court (which was hilarious) I played duck duck goose (using the Spanish version) and I also cheated and ran through the circle because I was going to get tagged. I swam in my clothes in freezing cold water. I had my hair braided almost daily and I had tiny hands in mine as we walked from one activity to another.  

There are too many stories to tell and images forever burned in my mind. God has awakened my soul and awakened my eyes to the ugly in not only my heart but the blindness that surrounds me in America. I flew home fighting the bitterness in me because I experienced fullness from a place that had nothing and yet I live in a place of most people having it all and yet still most feel empty. It bothers me and moves me at the same time.  So for the next few weeks I'm going to use my blog to process my emotions, Gods word and I hope you will come along side me and share your stories as well. 

Week 1 
My bed is not comfortable 

When we arrived at the camp we were staying at for the week I grabbed a bottom bunk. I doubled the mattress to ensure comfort and then proceeded to make my bed up with silky sheets and my extremely comfortable pillow.  As the days progressed the comfy sheets no longer mattered because the boards that lay under the mattress (both) were hard and so uncomfortable that I spent most of the night changing positions and tossing and turning until morning.  

What I realize now because I'm a visual learner is that Honduras were the boards that tossed me around and the comfort of my sheets was my comfortable Christianity that I didn't know still existed in me because I'm a far removed legalist.  I also have trusted people to a fault at times. I am the person who could care less if they take the $ I gave them to buy beer because I just do it out of a place of God said so.  I'm not saying I'm perfect remember I just said I was once a legalist.  

For example the day before we left for Honduras Rachel and I were in a hurry coming out of Walmart and a lady approached her. I was already in the car and Rachel was putting away the buggy. The lady proceeds to walk her to the car and she bends down and tells me this long story about how she didn't have any money and that she needed food and a piece for her washing machine and honestly I heard blah blah blah. I said ok let me run to the teller and I'll be right back. Trust me the flesh in me said go you are in a hurry she will never know but the Holy Spirit that is also is in me said give her 20$. I often hate that tug of war because I often lose. I went back and complained about how I didn't want to do it all the while Rachel was watching and holding a bag full of stuff for our mission trip on her lap. 

So now you know I am not perfect. 

While I was in Honduras I read in John throughout the whole week. The morning after our first night I came across John 9.  I was convinced this story was about the orphan girls and how they needed to tell their stories and then it hit me this story was for me. 

John 9 1-2
Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. And His disciples asked him saying "Rabbi who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"

As embarrassed as I am I was the disciples that day in the parking lot in Walmart. The thoughts of why she was at this point and needed the money. God positioned her perfectly because he knew that as I would enter Honduras my mind would be blown by things I would see and He would become the focal point so in order for Him to fully get the glory He had to shine the light on an ugly area of my heart.

 Comfort is not always bad it just blinds us from seeing God and also a world that is hurting. I don't always assume the worst in people but on that day she messed up my routine and pushed me from comfort because I had somewhere to be.  The disciples never spoke to that man and yet assumed it was his sin or his parents sin that got him there but Jesus response blew me away and I'm sure his disciples. 

John 9:3 
Jesus answered, "NEITHER this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him. 

This is the part where I turn and walk away with my head down like a kid being told no.  The morning I read this it was around 4:30am and the sun was already coming up and the sky was such a beautiful shade of  blue. The trees were tall and were swaying with the wind. I was thanking God for the opportunity to even be there and boom John 9:3 punched me.  I had to have that moment of self realization that nothing I do or will ever do can be about me or someone else no matter the circumstance. Every move I make must be hidden in the beauty of Gods power.  Every smile I share or hug I hand out, to every dollar I give to a homeless person standing off a ramp is to bring God glory IN THAT EXACT MOMENT that He sets up.  

As I process the week my first thing I learned right off the bat is that comfort is something that keeps so many Christ followers on the edge of their seats never fully standing and yet never fully experiencing the power of God. I am praying and will continue to pray for God to burn in me passion for His people. It's easy to be bitter towards Americans when you see the way some live in Honduras but there are families all across my city that are in need of food, love and a smile.  The disconnect I felt towards that lady in Walmart was brought to my heart the moment I read John 9 and I knew that God totally set me up!  

Today I see things a little more clearer but first please hear me say that having nice stuff isn't bad trust me I want a new car badly.  I just believe that just like that blind man who struggled his entire life with not being able to see there are people all over the world including our cities that represent blindness by needing food, encouragement, forgiveness, clothes or maybe 20$ and because of comfort our hearts become blind and if we aren't careful we will never step out of our circles of influence, or never fully love people without expectation. We can't stiff arm uncomfortable moments that stretch our faith and every fiber of our being to trust a God that heals, protects, provides and does all of that in the very moment that will bring Him the most glory. 

My bed was so uncomfortable the entire week but it caused me to get up earlier each day.  My prayer is that the area of comfort you are hiding in will be uncomfortable this week and cause you to get up.  God is choosing to use you and I to SEE His sons and daughters in need in the moments He has designed to bring Him the most glory.  Clayton King said this "punch fear in the face by putting your faith in Jesus." Let this be your call to bravery today. Choose to get up and stand up behind the power of the Creator. 

I was blind but now I see. 

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Am I afraid? YES

Last night on Facebook I asked what people's favorite television shows were. I saw some that were funny shows but most were things like Criminal minds, The first 48, or scandal. It's as if we crave danger yet  we only want to keep it on a screen away from the reality of our worlds.  

The heartless crime that took place last week in Charleston stills saddens me however the families of those victims one by one standing before the killer forgiving him is what moves me the most.  When I think about the word fearlessly loving people or fearlessly proclaiming Jesus to this world my heart beats a little faster because there are traces of fear still in me.  

The word fearless is defined by Webster as; FREE from fear.  I'm not talking about the fear that comes when you watch your favorite show or the fear that follows that moment in which you feel scared. I'm talking about the bold, gutsy, stouthearted and brave moments of showing people Gods love.  Those Charleston families define bravery to me because not only did that killer feel the weight of those words but America watched over and over the love of Jesus being made known through their words of forgiveness and I too felt the weight of their words. 

I began thinking about Saul in Acts chapter 9. He persecuted Christ followers and approved of them being murdered and yet after he encountered Jesus he began to preach with such boldness. There were some who believed him but it also said the disciples were scared of him and wanted nothing to do with him. Saul's fearlessness wasn't birthed out of approval addiction it was birthed from an inward igniting of a God that's holy and powerful.  

Acts 9:27... "And he declared to them how he had seen the Lord on the road and that He had spoken to Him and how he had preached fearlessly at Damascus in the name of Jesus."

He encountered God and something was set off inside him like fireworks. He went from breathing murderous threats to fearlessly proclaiming the name of Jesus.  In Mark Batterson's Going All in book it says this powerful statement.

"Jesus didn't die to keep us safe. He died to make us dangerous." 

I can't think of a single story in the bible that doesn't have some type of sacrifice, bravery, pain or bold moments with the purpose of moving the name of Jesus forward.  Fear has no power in the presence of the Crestor! God knew that someone like Saul had passion and zeal because He created him. He rocked His world and transformed those things to bring glory to Him. The New Testament is basically written by a redeemed jerk who hated Christians.   As I speak to girls and women my passion is for them to embrace and walk in FREEDOM so why wouldn't I forever be fighting the bondage of food, body image and shame. Saul had people plotting to Kill him and he would get out before they could strike.  I choose to remove those thoughts in my mind or even more disarm the enemy by speaking louder.  Today my challenge is that you no longer play it safe. Look to those in front of you in all areas of your life from day in and day out and ask yourself.. How can I boldly, gutsy, fearlessly show them the love of Jesus?  For some of you it's a call to forgive. For others it's a call to go ALL in with your heart so you can follow Jesus with your life. Maybe it's declaring freedom even when you know bondage is always lurking. 

Tomorrow I leave for my first foreign mission trip. I am excited to fly. I am excited to eat new food. I am excited to be going with people I adore but am I afraid? The answer is Yes but I refuse to let the enemy keep me from declaring this over my trip NO MATTER WHAT! 

Ephesians 6:19,20 
"Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will FEARLESSLY make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it FEARLESSLY, as I should." 

Be YOU! 

God is a very BIG God! 

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

God I am mad at you ...

These last 4 days have been a whirlwind. Rebekah graduated and had the most amazing Lily Pulitzer graduation party. Her friends and family showed her so much love and so she went to bed with a smile on her face and the anticipation of getting up the next morning and heading to New York City.  The next morning we arrived at the Charlotte airport and what was meant to be an easy breezy process quickly turned into a long waiting game of whether or not we would make it on a flight to New York. A long 18 hours of waiting, 
waiting and more waiting. I kept asking God to please let our names be called and yet never once did we hear our names. I had to keep it together for Rebekah by smiling a lot, making jokes, and creating opportunities for fun in the airport. As the day progressed my frustration turned into anger and I began asking God why. I had bought the hotel on groupon to save money and it was a steal because it was right in the center of time square. I had purchased our tours and I was ready for when we arrived in New York but we never made it. I had to go to the bathroom at one point to hide my frustration, tears and anger. I just sat in the stall praying and yet telling God how I felt. I heard nothing back from Him and felt no comfort from Him. I finally walked outside and told Rebekah that the last flight was full and that we had two options. The first was to spend the night in the airport and be ready to check in around 4am or to go home get 3 hours of sleep and be back at the airport by 4am. We chose to come home and to sleep for a few hours.  When Monday rolled around we grabbed our things and headed to the airport. By the time we made it through security and into the waiting area I knew there wasn't a chance of us getting on that first flight. She insisted we wait and so we did.  She slept for about an hour and when she woke up I had to finally just give her the real deal and yet also a choice of waiting again for another entire day.  She cried and it broke my heart and I was so frustrated and I felt such a blah feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I called out to God and He still said nothing.  Rebekah walked out of the airport with her head held high and yet my heart was hurting with every beat. Not only had I basically flushed 800$ down the toilet but my daughter was having to come home without a story to share about New York.  When we arrived back at our house it was around 7:30 am.  We decided to drive to Charleston (her second favorite place) and just spend time at the beach and pool and eat yummy food. 

I tell you all of this because my heart is still broken. We bonded and we had a wonderful time. She didn't act like a diva and she thanked me a lot. She even bought me a starfish Alex and Ani bracelet for me to remember her grad week. I'm still frustrated tonight and little by little I'm releasing it. I don't know why but I do know that for some crazy reason God did everything to keep us off that plane and out of New York. The guy who got us the buddy passes even said "it's like a dark cloud over the Charlotte airport".  What was God protecting us from? What was He pulling out of me? The truth is I may never know.  As I read a verse my mom sent me yesterday I keep reminding myself of Gods goodness. 

Come back to the place of safety, all you prisoners who still have hope! I promise this very day that I will repay two blessings for each of your troubles".  Zechariah 9:13. 

Tonight I am choosing to walk out of these thoughts of defeat and frustration with my heart positioned and ready to embrace the only thing that remains constant even when my thoughts, emotions and feelings toward Him waver.  It's not my emotions that bring the disconnect it's my response to His ways that either pulls me in or distances my heart from His. No matter how I feel towards Him His love never changes, His protection never stops, & His pursuit of me never goes away because His ways are perfect. I am mad at Him but it is His love for me that changes my perspective.  God I am coming back to the only thing that is safe & that is You because I know that no matter how I feel you are faithful even when I am not. 

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

I use to stuff my bra

When I was a little girl I loved putting on makeup especially lipstick. I would climb up on the bathroom counter with my feet planted in the sink and my rear on the edge and talk to myself in the mirror. I would stick my lips out a little further and it would help me feel like a woman (at the age of 8). That bright red lipstick would make me feel confident and in my mind I could take on the world.  I have many childhood memories that were moments of escape for me. My life didn't warrant an escape of reality but the desire to feel beautiful started very early for me. I remember in the 4th grade I would stuff my bra because I needed to be noticed and somehow down deep it made me feel pretty and equal to the other girls. Now whether that's was way too much information or not sorry it is the truth.  I believe If we were being honest don't we do the very same things now just maybe not with our bras? 

We chase money to stuff our bank accounts because it helps us to feel accomplished some how. We stuff our faces to escape the reality of pain and emotions that aren't comfortable. We stuff relationships with plastic conversations because we are afraid of how they may perceive us when they walk away. We stuff our prayers with empty promises because being real with God means change has to come. Now here me say I am not bashing any of those things because we all do it but over the last 10 years I have had some tough realizations in my own life.  

1. I am me 
2. I am Gods

When I embrace the truth of Gods word I have to also embrace that I am me because of who He is. 

 1 Corinthians 15:10 "but by the grace of God I am what I am"

You see what started with stuffing my bra as a 4th grad girl quickly transferred to stuffing my ego of chasing things and people to fill my cup of needing to be known and wanted. I had a hole and I thought that if I filled the empty pockets surrounding my heart I would somehow fill whole.

BUT by the grace of God He reached in cracked my plastic answers, the plastic smiles and said stop being who they need you to be and simply JUST BE. 

My mom is notorious for taking bad angle pictures. She will always capture the mid smile or the double chin picture. I always say "now mom before you post that let me check it" but what I really mean is let me pose for it.  When we are trying to become someone who doesn't care what others think or just be who God created us to be we must catch ourselves before we pose.  This will only come when you choose to saturate yourself in Gods word. It's being you in Him that creates opportunities for others to only see Him and because of that our authenticity becomes contagious and others become authentic. 

As my oldest daughter walked into school this morning I reflected on the last 13 years of school. She hasn't always made A's or even the honor roll but she has consistently been a light for others to see. She may be a diva sometimes and drive me crazy with her love for insanely pricey clothes but she knows what she likes and what she doesn't . She may drive me crazy by dancing to every annoying song on the radio but she dances. If there is one thing I have learned about Rebekah she is simply Rebekah. Girls/women whether we choose to wear high heels, flats or tennis shoes just be you! If you like country music, rap or classic opera it DOES NOT matter because God wants you to just be you!  

1 Corinthians 15:10 "but by the grace of God I am what I am. 

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Stop racing against the clock

This week I started a 90 day reading through the bible plan with leading and loving it. The first day I was overwhelmed at how many chapters I had to read.  I contemplated several times about even starting because of my fear of not finishing. I had posted it on social media and I didn't want to look like one of "those" who start but never finish.  As I started reading through the creation story my heart begin to shift and I couldn't put it down. How is it that a book as old as the bible have new and exciting twist and turns in stories that I have heard so many times? I realized that God's ways are never old.  The way He draws us in to a deeper intimacy with Him is always consistent and ever changing based on where we are. We are never meant to live our lives with the mindset of a constant routine. If we allow our lives to be dictated by our planners and the task at hand we WILL miss the mystery and awe of God.  Show me someone who lives life with such perfected edges and I promise they will tell you they struggle with finding the awe of God. I am not bashing type A personalities I thank God for them because I am super type B. I just know that when I live day to day through the filter of what has to be done I miss moments with my girls, my husband and friendships simply because I was trying to check off a list to make me feel accomplished. I call that pride because it's about me. 

I was so moved by the story of Adam and Eve yesterday.  Literally God describes all that they can have and that ONE THING is what they couldn't keep their eyes off that derailed them.  I asked myself the question why couldn't they have that tree and even questioned why God didn't strike satan when he began to whisper distorted truths into Eve's ear. As I asked those questions I reminded myself of past sin and current sin of choosing what's in front of me now rather than waiting on Gods perfect way.  I believe we like to blame God for the outcome of our disobedience or others disobedience because we mistaken His power.  We tend to forget the beauty of His grace and the choice He gives us. We respond out of the condition of our hearts and because the enemy is always working to distort Gods truth we end up blaming him.  

God wants you to know that even in your season of drought, pain, numbness or doubt He is still in control. For you type A people He is in control. For you type B all over the place people He is in control. It's not his lack of power that keeps Him from moving in our circumstances instead it may be our desire to be in control.  That is hard to swallow at times because no amount of worship music, bible studies or serving can win the favor of God because He is already in awe of us. You don't have to work to please Him.  I believe the impossible happens when our faith is stretched, our resources have dried up and we have fully surrendered OUR plans. 

God is for you. Let that truth resonate in you today as you race against the clock. God is for you even In the middle of what seems to be your darkest season. As I read these Old Testament stories from Abraham's wife to Jacob and Esau to the story about the Tower of Babel it was one theme that was reflected in each story.  They couldn't wait on God. From pregnancy to birth rights to trying to be like God the timing for them moved them to take matters into their own hands. What is it that you need God to move in? Is it your lack of finances? Is it that your marriage is falling apart? Girls is it your lack of approval that you desire from peers or a guy? Maybe it's what the scales display and you can't get past that number today.  I know that it hurts in those seasons of question but I also know we serve a very faithful God whose ways exceed our ways.  He can handle whatever it is I promise so let Him take it from here. 

Be encouraged!  

Genesis 21:1-3
1Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what He had promised. 2Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

God isn't Santa Clause

As I laid in bed before daylight this morning I didn't want to get up and I couldn't go back to sleep. I tossed and turned and decided to spend the next few quiet moments taking some much needed things to Jesus.  I asked for some pretty bold things, repented of some things and while I was talking to Him I thought how I must sound like a broken record at times.  I picture God saying "well here comes Holly again with the same thing she asked me for just a few days ago".  Now I know that God isn't like this but when I am asking Him for the very same things over and over I often wonder what He thinks.  I am learning a few things about my prayer life as well as prayer in general and I want to share with you. 

#1 It's not the words that you use that move the hand of God - 

Matthew 6:7

"When you pray, don’t babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again."

When we pray with empty words and promises to do something in order to get God to bend to our request we have made it about us. It's easy to pray for other people because we want them to change rather than loving them where they are and praying for our words, actions and lives to be an instrument of hope and change in their lives. Praying with intent of allowing God to do what He wants and wills is an act of surrender. Prayers laced with surrender takes the power out of your hands of trying to manipulate and rightfully places God in charge no matter the outcome.  When we pray for others we essentially stand in the gap for them therefore we must make sure our motives in praying reflect that. I never want my prayers to sound like a never ending song. I have so many women surrounding me that are numb, or their marriage seems to be failing apart along with others who have no desire to pursue Jesus any longer based on what seems His inactivity.  I believe that when we let our words reflect the desperation of our hearts God reaches in and our hearts begin to shift.  Pray with words that are not rooted in religion but instead rooted in the very love you have for Jesus. 

2. Prayer is essential to your growth

I want nothing more than to see my church grow, to lose weight, to get a new car and to have my girls grow in their passion for Jesus. I pray on a regular basis about my needs and the things I want to happen not realizing all that God is doing in me through this season I am in. I believe it's the things that keep us in desperation for Him that also brings maturity to our faith. We grow when we are depending fully on Gods strength & His provision to carry us, mold us and grow us into who He created us to be.  When you feel as if you have no words to reach the heavens know that God already knows,  so just praise Him and thank Him for the process.  We crave completion and prayer is our connection to the ONE and only completion we will ever obtain. God doesn't allow us to stay where we are instead He uses every word spoken or not spoken, every tear cried on an altar or words written in a journal to move us and to grow us so we must allow our prayers to stretch us. 

3. What is it that you truly need

God isn't Santa clause. That's a tough reality for many including myself to swallow at times. When you need healing to come or a financial miracle to take place it's easy to beg God with open arms for the result we want. For the girl who wants that perfect guy to the guy who needs that acceptance letter to prove himself to his parents that he is enough I get it. We crave to be known in a world that pushes that concept in every area of social media to books that line the shelves in every store. We need for things to workout and through prayer our wants become the very driving force of our communication with God. The depth of our faith is measured by how much we trust God. When I lose, or when I don't get what I want my response clearly shows the condition of my heart and just how much I truly trust my Creator. He tells us in Romans 8:28 that ALL things work together and yet we usually forget that when things don't go the way we plan. If I am honest with myself I have wanted some pretty shallow material things and while praying I have tucked them in between the words of my needs. If I ask myself what it is that I truly need it's not those things at all. When we allow our need to be known to connect with a want we will eventually be in the danger zone of pride.  

4. Pray as if you are free 

So many times I find myself saying I'm sorry for past sins and yet live as if I was never forgiven. Freedom is the very reason Jesus died (Galatians 5:1) and we have to come boldly Into His presence and stand in our redemption.  Struggles are real but Gods redeeming grace and love will always win. 

These are just a few truths that God seems to be showing me in this season of my life.  There are days where we can feel the weight of our daily stress or thoughts that push us towards defeat and instead of throwing our hands up in complete surrender we ball our fist and shake it at God. The beautiful thing about freedom is that it blooms out of our surrender. God wants you to freely walk in the fullness of His power and presence. Defeat is not an option when you are choosing to walk in the One who has already won!   

How can I pray for you today? 

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.....

Kids are so curious and yet have no idea how much they inwardly crave boundaries to ensure safety.  Teenagers know boundaries ensure safety yet push them with intent to bend them.  As adults we create them within the context of how they benefit us by acting as if they don’t exist or enforcing them with the intent of measuring others by them.  As I was writing this morning I was listening to Oceans in the background and as I heard  “spirit lead me where my trust is without borders” my heart began to surface the areas of distrust in my own life and as I began to confess those areas of unbelief tears began to stream down my face.  You see God isn’t mad at me when I don’t trust Him nor does He ever do anything to spite me because I choose not to trust.  To trust God without borders simply means there is absolutely NOTHING out of His reach.  There is no sin that can’t be redeemed. There is no marriage that can’t be restored. There is no sexual past that can’t be healed. There is no hole that He can’t fill. Our longing for more is what creates boundaries within our hearts. We seek to fill the shallow places within our lives that only leave us with a deeper longing for more of something else.  When we choose to allow our unbelief to guide the direction of our words and ultimately our feet we will never end up in a place of contentment. Jesus has to be our go to when everything falls apart and when everything is going incredible.  We can fake happiness by wearing a plastic smile all day or we can let our love for the Creator be the driving force behind our unstoppable and relentless Joy. Circumstances can crumble but Joy will not be shaken. Circumstances can leave you sobbing in desperation buy Joy will not be shaken. God’s protection over His children is something we can’t fathom to the point we fill like we have to stick our nosey selves in and begin manipulating the outcomes of our lives.  

My heart aches this week for so many women who have expressed such frustration towards God. They look at the walls closing in on them as a punishment from God.  Ladies hear me say that God’s silence in your chaos isn’t punishment but a call to trust Him without borders.  Ladies your marriage that seems to be falling apart isn’t a punishment from God but a call to trust Him without borders. To the girl who is starving herself because her peers are telling her she isn’t good enough and the mirror reinforces it God isn’t mad at you, He is calling you to trust Him without borders. 

In the beginning of time the enemy distorted God’s truth and today he uses religion to distort the beauty of God’s word in our lives by creating this expectancy of perfection that is paired with rules.   When we begin pursuing God alone we can identify truth and we can identify the lies from the enemy. We respond differently in every situation no matter chaotic or not. We can’t be shaken or moved because our deepest roots are within a God that will never be shaken.  Today I believe some of you including myself have to lay down manipulation once and for all. By creating boundaries that only benefit us blurs the beauty of the immeasurably more that is just around the corner. 

Trusting God without borders is calling you and I into deeper waters and that is scary.  Psalm 34:4 says “ I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.”  What represents your “deeper water” this morning?  Maybe it is finally forgiving someone that hurt you in ways that have left you wounded. I am so sorry for that pain but I know that God is a God that heals and provides restoration.  Maybe it is finally letting your money be His money.  I know you need things and want things to better your family and so does God.  Maybe it is embracing a new season without fear of “what if”. God loves you more than you could ever imagine and He wants you to walk out of this season and into a new one with your heart positioned to hear from Him and to just walk with Him and I promise your faith will deepen.

 Lets trust Him ladies without any strings attached. I believe that when we do a joy that is unexplainable begins to stir within us and passions are birthed and dreams take flight. Others are blessed because our lives aren’t about us but about God. Our families are strengthened and our marriages gain momentum.  God isn’t calling you out where He isn’t but instead He is taken you places you can never imagine. My prayer for you is that those borders you are afraid to come to or to cross over will become land to possess in JESUS NAME! 

Joshua 1:9 “ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you WHEVEVER YOU GO.”