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Wednesday, June 10, 2015

I use to stuff my bra

When I was a little girl I loved putting on makeup especially lipstick. I would climb up on the bathroom counter with my feet planted in the sink and my rear on the edge and talk to myself in the mirror. I would stick my lips out a little further and it would help me feel like a woman (at the age of 8). That bright red lipstick would make me feel confident and in my mind I could take on the world.  I have many childhood memories that were moments of escape for me. My life didn't warrant an escape of reality but the desire to feel beautiful started very early for me. I remember in the 4th grade I would stuff my bra because I needed to be noticed and somehow down deep it made me feel pretty and equal to the other girls. Now whether that's was way too much information or not sorry it is the truth.  I believe If we were being honest don't we do the very same things now just maybe not with our bras? 

We chase money to stuff our bank accounts because it helps us to feel accomplished some how. We stuff our faces to escape the reality of pain and emotions that aren't comfortable. We stuff relationships with plastic conversations because we are afraid of how they may perceive us when they walk away. We stuff our prayers with empty promises because being real with God means change has to come. Now here me say I am not bashing any of those things because we all do it but over the last 10 years I have had some tough realizations in my own life.  

1. I am me 
2. I am Gods

When I embrace the truth of Gods word I have to also embrace that I am me because of who He is. 

 1 Corinthians 15:10 "but by the grace of God I am what I am"

You see what started with stuffing my bra as a 4th grad girl quickly transferred to stuffing my ego of chasing things and people to fill my cup of needing to be known and wanted. I had a hole and I thought that if I filled the empty pockets surrounding my heart I would somehow fill whole.

BUT by the grace of God He reached in cracked my plastic answers, the plastic smiles and said stop being who they need you to be and simply JUST BE. 

My mom is notorious for taking bad angle pictures. She will always capture the mid smile or the double chin picture. I always say "now mom before you post that let me check it" but what I really mean is let me pose for it.  When we are trying to become someone who doesn't care what others think or just be who God created us to be we must catch ourselves before we pose.  This will only come when you choose to saturate yourself in Gods word. It's being you in Him that creates opportunities for others to only see Him and because of that our authenticity becomes contagious and others become authentic. 

As my oldest daughter walked into school this morning I reflected on the last 13 years of school. She hasn't always made A's or even the honor roll but she has consistently been a light for others to see. She may be a diva sometimes and drive me crazy with her love for insanely pricey clothes but she knows what she likes and what she doesn't . She may drive me crazy by dancing to every annoying song on the radio but she dances. If there is one thing I have learned about Rebekah she is simply Rebekah. Girls/women whether we choose to wear high heels, flats or tennis shoes just be you! If you like country music, rap or classic opera it DOES NOT matter because God wants you to just be you!  

1 Corinthians 15:10 "but by the grace of God I am what I am. 

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