Wednesday, February 11, 2015
When I was a kid I wanted to be able to do all that the boys did in my neighborhood. I wanted bikes like them so I could jump ramps like them. I wanted to climb trees like them and set things on fire like them. I ran with the guys and held my on mainly because I was madly in love with all of them so if it meant eating ants I would do it to gain their affections. One particular time my next door neighbor and I and my little sister decided we were going to try to out smart them by doing our own experiment. It ended with us throwing coke on a fire that could have quickly burned the entire woods down. Luckily we only left a small area scorched.
My whole life fear has been something that has kept me from ever fully seeing my God size potential and because of that fear I have missed out on countless opportunities. I only saw the possible outcomes instead of God alone. I am not a risk taker really but over the years I have learned that taking risk isn't choosing to be brave it's surrendering to a God who equips and births a passion in you to GO, SAY and DO whatever it is He calls you to without hesitation. I am a dream chaser because I have seen the dream giver blow my mind. There are days where I don't want to speak to the lady in line because she looks stressed out with kids all over the place and frankly I am in a hurry but what I am learning is that the risk isn't in me taking a chance on a conversation that may lead her into a season of rest it is however me choosing to surrender all of ME including my disobedience which will open the flood gates of opportunities for her to simply see God in me.
The other night I stood in awe & wonder at how incredibly big my God is. I got to attend a Bethel worship experience and as I watched all over the room some held one hand high singing with all they had and yet in the other hand they held their phone recording the moment. I know they were wanting to capture the moment and I'm not saying it was wrong but God spoke so clearly to me. He said this is not how I want others to perceive Me one hand stretched out towards the heavens and the other clenched to only an idea of who I am but never fully experiencing Me. My selfish desires cannot co exist in a place and posture of surrender. My hand held stretched to the sky cannot also reach for comfort. When I was that little girl growing up in a predominantly boy neighborhood taking risk meant getting to be noticed and yet today my risk and my surrender can only be for my God to be noticed. It's not about me and it never can be no matter how bad I may want it to be. When the source of all I do is about God then my dreams reflect that my marriage reflects that, the way I serve reflects that and on and on. Our purpose is to bring glory to our Creator and my dreams become an avenue for others seeing Him in BIG ways. I do dream BIG and I'm not afraid to do things or say things (I wouldn't jump ramps or eat ants anymore) because I know that God opens doors for us but we have to choose to turn the handle and walk through that door. Today let this resonate in you by asking yourself, what is it in me that looks nothing like you God and with my hands empty or my hands full, either sinking in circumstances or overcoming struggles are you my source of hope and if not will You reignite a love and passion for YOU ALONE!
And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
I love going to the movies and I love the butter popcorn at the movies even more. It always makes me sick and yet I always get it. I have been eating mostly clean now for about a year and I am so thankful I made the switch. Sometimes it's hard to say no and sometimes it's really easy to turn down foods that have literally no reason to be in anybody's body. Movie popcorn is one I have a really hard time turning down. The butter dripping from your finger tips to the saltiness of each bite I mean oh my goodness. You can't just pop one kernel its a cramming your whole mouth full type of thing. As soon as I leave and the rumbling in my stomach starts I promise to never eat it again and also regret ever spending my life savings on movie theatre refreshments & this past Monday was no different. I went to see Taken 3 and because of the high impact of suspense I just needed something to calm my nerves (yea right). I smelled the popcorn as soon as I walked in seducing me with the smell of fresh butter and I couldn't walk by I just had to have it. I enjoyed every bite and when I got home I once again repented and said I would never eat it again. This morning I thought about the viscous cycle of bad habits and also sin in our lives. The moments where you know what you are doing is wrong but the pull to keep doing it trumps the choice to say no. Paul was on to something when he said in Romans 7