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Wednesday, February 4, 2015

butter popcorn & I have a love hate relationship

I love going to the movies and I love the butter popcorn at the movies even more. It always makes me sick and yet I always get it. I have been eating mostly clean now for about a year and I am so thankful I made the switch.  Sometimes it's hard to say no and sometimes it's really easy to turn down foods that have literally no reason to be in anybody's body. Movie popcorn is one I have a really hard time turning down. The butter dripping from your finger tips to the saltiness of each bite I mean oh my goodness. You can't just pop one kernel its a cramming your whole mouth full type of thing. As soon as I leave and the rumbling in my stomach starts I promise to never eat it again and also regret ever spending my life savings on movie theatre refreshments & this past Monday was no different.  I went to see Taken 3 and because of the high impact of suspense I just needed something to calm my nerves (yea right). I smelled the popcorn as soon as I walked in seducing me with the smell of fresh butter and I couldn't walk by I just had to have it. I enjoyed every bite and when I got home I once again repented and said I would never eat it again.  This morning I thought about the viscous cycle of bad habits and also sin in our lives. The moments where you know what you are doing is wrong but the pull to keep doing it trumps the choice to say no. Paul was on to something when he said in Romans 7

"15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me."

What a paragraph of conflict. We read this and we can relate on so many levels. We don't wake up and choose to be enslaved to a certain sin or a habit. It's daily choices and our thought life that leads us into bondage. We become so entangled that breaking free seems harder than just existing within our bad choices. I have met girls who have given themselves away so many times and yet they don't want to continue living in promiscuity but the desire to be wanted trumps the desire to embrace their true worth. Ladies who shop excessively to keep up with others often hate being in bondage to the approval of others but that feeling of not measuring up trumps the choice to just be themselves without any regrets. I get it and Paul knew we would need to see this passage and more than that God created us with a desire to be filled. He wants us to desire Him and for His love to permeate and penetrate the darkest places in our hearts and yet also fill the gap when what Lysa TerKeurst calls the "disease to please" hits.  We are loved beyond what we can wrap our minds around and that is why we also struggle with wrapping our hearts fully around the love and grace from our Creator. We are tangible beings at times and that outfit, piece of food or a relationship gives a temporary a fix to a much deeper problem. That deficient grows and sin sets in because suddenly God isn't enough and we desire more.  And just like the butter popcorn on my stomach we become sick and walk in defeat. Today you need to hear that Gods love and grace reaches over and over into the dark places and suddenly we are free and we begin to shine for Him. Envision yourself standing before Him this morning with His hands holding your sweet face. He forgives you. He wants you to experience freedom from your sin. He has a plan for your life and He loves you more than you could ever imagine. Ladies there will never be anything outside of His presence that will satisfy you. I may once again find myself elbow deep in butter popcorn and yet I pray for the will power to say no haha but in this moment it was the butter popcorn that reminds me that Gods grace never runs out & that surrendering is not a sign of weakness. Let His redeeming love shine on the dark places because you have a lot of SHINE left! Be encouraged! 

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