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Wednesday, January 28, 2015

I bombed Algebra...

I am very much a visual learner. I believe that is why I made an A in geometry and bombed algebra. I could see shapes and figure out how to make things work and algebra was too many words on a page with formulas that made absolutely no since. This past Sunday my husband stood in the pool at the YMCA where our baptisms take place and he baptized his brother who was recently diagnosed with cancer. I sobbed like a baby through the entire thing.  Michael surrendered his life to Jesus last week and wanted to immediately follow in baptism. As I stood there watching I closed my eyes and asked God to roll back the heavens so their mom could watch.  I could see the heavens roll back and angels singing and Janice smiling with such joy. I imagined what she must have felt because in heaven there is no pain so she couldn't see her son diagnosed with cancer she saw her sons praising the God she gets to worship daily in Heaven.  As I watched Michael come up out of the water I was reminded of what bold obedience and surrender looks like.  The moment we talk ourselves out of obeying we have surrendered to fear instead of deepening our faith.  All throughout scripture when Jesus called someone to follow Him it was always an immediate response.  I can look back to times in my life where I chose not to obey immediately and then I would question the very sovereignty of God's plan.  Every season filled with heartache, or numbness didn't come out of seasons of surrender but of my sin. Maybe it was pride that led me into thinking my dream was about me and so when things weren't happening I blamed God or pointed people to my insecurities. I made it about me.  Maybe it was my unbelief. I chose to deliberately not believe the things my Creator said about me in scripture and again it was about me. Obedience is hard and gut wrenching bravery that takes every ounce of energy you possess but the results of that pure surrender is what deepens your intimacy with your Creator and takes your faith to a whole new level.  This past week I was reading in In 1 Thessalonians chapter 5 and I stopped at verses 23/24..

"23 May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it."

The word sanctify is defined as; making pure, set apart to a sacred purpose, to free from sin, to make productive of holiness. As God begins to purify our hearts and our minds the process isn't something that is easy. We experience droughts in seasons and we become numb and often disobedient.  God calls us into living a life of fullness that is wrapped in His goodness and grace yet we stiff arm the very process of cleansing. My disobedience is sin and this verse reminds me that He is freeing me from sin THROUGH AND THROUGH. Which tells me that its ongoing process of making me more like Him and less and less of looking like the world. I want more of Jesus but with that comes the process of sanctification. The burning away of sin that hides in my thought life, to the disobedience that often follows my insecurities and fears of moving forward.  My mother in law is in Heaven and here on earth she had bad lungs, a bad heart, two fingers missing and a spirit that was broken through years of circumstances that piled up and yet she now stands before a perfect God worshiping Him whole heartedly without a flaw.  We strive for this perfection here on earth and yet we always end up either wanting more or feeling as if we will never measure up. In the last part of that verse it says "The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it". I will not always obey but I serve a God who is ALWAYS faithful. He will do whatever it takes to bring me back into an intimate fellowship with Him. I am thankful for His constant pursuit of my heart because it is the very thing that sustains me and allows me to feel true peace in my life. Even when circumstances are so out of control from my disobedience or someone else His faithfulness is what moves us into a deeper understanding of His sovereignty.  Psalm 107 verse 35 "He turns a wilderness into a pool of water and a dry ground into water springs;" Let this sink in to your heart today because there is NO season of disobedience that can't be redeemed and transformed for God's glory.  In His presence is where FREEDOM happens and healing begins! Be encouraged....

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