What has your attention?

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Today is Monday is August 26

I sent my daughters back to school this morning. Rebekah started her junior year with excitement and a wee bit of uncertainty. Rachel started middle school with a stomach full of butterflies and a face full of make up. She is starting a new journey of finding out who she is becoming and Rebekah is in the middle of a season really beginning to walk in a new confidence. She has become the preppy girl who loves her pearls. Rachel is discovering make up and that real cuss words do exist.  This morning as I prayed over them they giggled and tears filled my eyes.  So much can change in a year. I look back to where I was a year ago. In a full time job entering into year 2 of our church plant and really seeking Gods voice in my life and begging Him for change.  One year later I am unemployed, entering year 3 of our church and I am desperate to hear Gods voice. 

Colossians 3:16

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God

The word dwell actually means-  keep the attention of/live as a resident and richly means - in full measure. 

When we allow Gods word to live in us and to have our full attention we then begin to walk in the fullness of Him. It's a beautiful picture of letting His word fill us up in those seasons of drought, numbness, anger or fear.  It's Him we need not direction, or answers or healing. What if the healing doesn't come? What if the relationship you dreamed of doesn't really exist? What if that dream you have chased doesn't come true? Our response to the word defines the direction we then take. Satan intends for evil to triumph and to bring about addiction and behavior and defeating thoughts to get the best of us. It's Gods word dwelling richly in us that alters that and brings forth Joy and surrender when you can't seem to do it yourself.  Today as you look at your life ask yourself this question.  Does The truth of Gods word  have my full attention? Because ultimately what has your attention has your heart.  In my life I have taken Christ off the thrown many times and replaced His truth with food and shameful thoughts and 

then my actions followed accordingly.  The bible can be so intimidating and full of words that aren't used in my vocabulary thats why I have to break down the words and its like it then comes alive to me. The Creator of the universe wants to talk to me. He is constant. He is always ready to fill me up so I can walk in the Fullness of His goodness no matter how bad things seem.  When I was in New York a few days ago I literally realized that I was begging God to speak to me  in one of the loudest places ever. I kept trying to hear His voice but I was so consumed by other things that I couldn't. I had to literally clean out some thoughts, offer up repentance and take away the noise that filled my heart and mind.  My full attention wasn't on God it was on begging Him for direction and asking for answers.  I thought it would be like time square and the answers would be obvious but instead He continues to direct me toward His word and Him alone and that is my direction.

Be encouraged!! 

Are you ignoring me?

Have you ever wanted to hear Gods voice so badly that you literally found yourself listening as if your life depended on it? I have cried out to God and now I am waiting for Him to speak. Today as I washed dishes I looked out and the bird that has been living in the bush in front of my window has now had 4 beautiful little baby birds. They chirp so loudly it reminds me of a young toddler saying "mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy" over and over until the mom finally says WHAT in a stern but attentive voice. All the birds have made it out of the nest but for some reason for what seemed like a lifetime one small little one stayed on a very high branch surrounded by sticky and sharp leaves chirping with all it had. The others were trying to fly and jumping from one branch to another all the while the mom was so busy going back and forth and out and in with food that it was as if she was ignoring this poor little bird. I stood there with tears in my eyes and said God why aren't you speaking to me? I need you to guide me and just like this bird You are ignoring me. I walked away and hours later I walked back in and the chirping was gone and all the little birds including the mom were all in the nest and peace was among them.  My heart melted as I watched this mom who had worked all day gathering, feeding, responding, jumping etc rest with her babies close.  I blogged the other day on how God never stops and yet today I felt this overwhelming heart cry that God wasn't listening to me. I rode down the road today silent in my car praying out loud and even looked at bumper stickers, road signs and billboards for a sign from God and yet got nothing. I know my calling. I know what  I love to do and what I am passionate about.   I have been unemployed now for 7 months and its time for the unemployment to stop coming in and I need to know the direction I am heading. Its weird the peace I have. I have no worry,  or anxiety but I just think that if you want to walk in obedience God should say here go this way.  I realized tonight as I sat alone  in my laundry room manually turning each cycle (because the stupid thing is broken) that God is my direction. Wait what? That simple? Yes it is. He is my provider. He is my strength. He is my future.  I seek Him and I find exactly what I need to walk in wisdom NOW. I use my time wisely and leave the results to my Creator. Gods blessings come and I often stiff arm them because I feel like I don't deserve them. I have literally transferred my feelings from my past and projected those onto God. The one who redeemed me without any strings attached.   Redeeming love is a reoccurring theme in my head these days and I believe some of you can relate to my day. My request seems very small to your current desperation and I am sorry for the whining but I need you to know that God does hear us. From the smallest of request to the gut wrenching cries within. He is responding, preparing, refreshing, healing and doing things we can't understand. Just like those birds,  cry  out to Him with all you have and as long as you need to but after you lay your request and tears out then find rest in Him. I am in a place of total surrender once again and there is nothing I can do but trust, listen with intent and keep my eyes fully on Him. Be encouraged! He is listening. 

Colossians 4:5/6 

WALK in WISDOM toward outsiders making THE BEST USE OF YOUR TIME. Let your speech be generous and always seasoned with salt so that you may know how to answer each person. 

One thing remains...

It seems as though everyone goes to the beach to relax, renew and to see the beauty of Gods magnificent power in the creativity of the shore line. The waves roll in non-stop. Some are huge and some are so tiny they dissolve before they even hit the tips of your toes. I love to sit at the edge where the water rolls in just enough to cool you off but not knock you down or cover you with the salt water and fill your bathing suit with wet sand.  When you pull away from the every day chaos it's easy to see God and often hear His voice.  I listened with such intent this week. I prayed for direction as a new season approaches. I prayed for my church and the leadership. I prayed for my husband and my beautiful daughters. I prayed for my friendships and the ladies who I pour into as well as my mentor who pours into me. I read through 2 chronicles and took so many nuggets of truth away and wrote them on my heart.  I am overwhelmed by His goodness as I saturate myself in His word and really embrace this concept of walking in the  FULLness of God.   A few things really stuck out to me this week. Late one night we sat on the beach in the sand and watched for shooting stars. The sound of the waves crashed into the shore line so loudly all the while worship music was being played and sang. It was def a God moment.  Another moment that happened was yesterday when Kelsey and I decided to sit literally at the edge of the water in our bathing suits that were covered in clothes and towels that covered our heads to block the rain from hitting our faces. I kept staring into the water and finally  I got up and just went running into the ocean.  I haven't been swimming in the ocean in like 5 years so this was a big deal. I laughed and told Kelsey that it was my YOLO moment however I found myself begging God to not let me get eaten by a shark.  I jumped over waves and laughed so hard every time I would get knocked down. As I walked out of the ocean in the pouring rain I took a deep breath and knew it was def a God moment. Another moment was this; each morning I would get up and sit on the deck with my friends.  We would first sit in silence as we read Gods word and then we would all share what God had taught us individually. On Friday morning  I saw sun beaming through my blinds and because it had rained for 3 days prior I thought it was be good for us to sit on the beach and do our bible study time. It was just enough sun peeking through the clouds and yet just enough breeze. It was actually borderline chilly. I sat there watching all the different birds.  Some would walk so fast down the beach looking for something frantically.   Some would fly without stopping because it was as if they had somewhere they had to be. This one bird showed up behind me with the most beautiful white feathers alone and just walking across the sand. Not rushing or acting as if the world was getting on its nerves.  It was def a God moment.  You see God never stops working, healing, speaking, redeeming, loving and so on. He is constant. I realized in all of those moments from early morning sunrises to late night talks God never stopped being God. I can unplug from the world and yet He created it with such beauty and creativity that it never stops moving.  We often seek Him to the point of shaking our fist at Him because we think He isn't responding. We shut down and run to addictions when we think He isn't fulfilling us. We move away from our callings and walk in disobedience because we think God isn't moving fast enough.  Be encouraged today that your God is constant. He loves you with such intensity that He wouldn't dare leave you where you are. He is your redeemer. If you are walking in shame from your past today He can redeem you and make you new. If you are mad or numb to God's voice He wants to breathe new life into you.  Today things can change, slow down,  speed up or even bring about chaos that seems so overwhelming. There is one thing that never changes and that is God.  

James 1:17/18 Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.