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Wednesday, May 14, 2014


Today I am that woman who looks as if she stayed up all night with a newborn. The bags under my eyes would also make you think I was going on a permanent vacation. However I am doing neither. I am not a night owl like Richard is. He wants me to sit up and watch tv with him or like last night stand out in the front yard at 11 o'clock and take pictures of a ginormous raccoon in our tree.  Honestly I just want to go to bed and sleep so I can rise early and be the morning person I am.  Our lives are so busy with commitments and responsibilities that we don't get to have the weekly date nights right now. My lunch dates with him and TV watching on the couch means so much to me that I have to put myself to the side and soak up his sweet smile, laughter and shenanigans.  I would love to say it gets easier to stay up but yesterday I went to the doctor about my stomach and she took caffeine from my diet and even though everything she said was true I am struggling today. I want the biggest cup of coffee I can find. I want to go to sleep. I want peanut butter. I want veggies and I want some Greek yogurt and yet for the next four weeks I can't have any of those things because she is cleansing my stomach.  I really almost pulled into a store and got me the biggest monster I could find. Isn't that how we are with other things in our lives? We know that freedom comes from surrender and yet we hold on to the things that keep us in the dark and we walk in compete bondage. We allow sin to become our guide rather than a reference point for us to see the redemption of Gods beautiful grace. I was talking to one of the girls I work with and she said "I want to do good but I just can't seem to make good choices" how profound from a girl who is young and still trying to walk through healing. She gets it.  Today my prayer is that you see the big picture and walk in what is to come. Freedom is around the corner.  Healing is coming to my stomach I just have to push through the withdrawal of what I want versus what my body needs to heal. What is it that you need to do today? Do some of your friendships need to be let go of? Do you need to surrender & stop running? May you need to Listen with the intent to move? Or today maybe you just need to repent.  That is a churchy word and we often zoom over it because we equate it with someone beating their bible and shouting it loudly but honestly it is the very thing brings back the intimacy between you and the Creator. It's what restores and heals your brokenness. To me it's like Richard desiring me to stay up a little linger and the feeling I know he gets when I do. God desires our whole hearts In Matthew 3:8 it says this "Bear Fruit in keeping with repentance". I don't give up sleep to just sit, instead I stay up so my relationship with my man will bloom even more and is!!! Be encouraged today! 

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