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Monday, March 26, 2012

are you on empty?

Anyone who knows me knows that if you get behind the wheel of my car it’s more than likely going to be on empty or past empty. It’s a joke between all my friends and I will wait to the very last second to fill up my tank. I am not sure why I wait because I don’t actually hate pumping gas. I guess I look at it as slowing me down or interrupting my day. These past few weeks have been a huge interruption in my life. My broken ankle continues to get on my last nerve because I am bound to a chair at home and on my crutches with sore arm pits if I choose to go out. The first week I was at home I soaked up my time with being in the word and really heard some incredible truths from my Creator. I was in awe of His presence and my heart was definitely on full. However this past week I have really struggled. I didn’t get into the word for two days and my thoughts reflected it. I battled food more this week than I have in a year. I realized that in just two days I allowed myself to become empty. When we fill our gas tanks up we feel so accomplished and we are able to go all over the place and then as soon as our tank starts getting low we watch where we are going as well as begin to complain about how expensive gas prices are. I found myself that way this week. Last week I was on full and I was ready to conquer the world. I booked two speaking engagements, praised God for rest and really enjoyed spending time in His presence. But little by little I backed off and realized that even though I had more than enough hours in my day I kept choosing to spend my time with Jesus a little later and that turned into two days without it.  I began to desire food more, look at myself differently and allowed negative thoughts to consume me. Before I knew it I was on empty Sunday morning when I arrived at church.  I walked away truly understanding yet again how God is so gracious and always ready to pull my heart back into His. Isaiah 41:13 “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear I WILL HELP YOU.” God’s love is unfailing and His grace is never ending!! God’s strength is what pushes me daily to make healthy choices. I used to be driven by what others thought about me and driven by a number on a scale but now I am driven to find myself in the presence of my Creator and truly take care of the body He has given me. I may not be skinny but I am on a journey that has literally changed my entire outlook on body image and life in general. God’s name is so full of power and it draws the ugly places of my heart out in order for Him to cleanse me fully. In Hebrews 12:29 (The Message) He’s actively cleaning house, torching all that needs to burn and He won’t quit until it’s all cleansed. God Himself is fire!” WOW.. He has transformed my thoughts, transformed my heart, pushed me to see myself in a new light and He still isn’t finished with me?? As bad as I hate stopping to pump gas I do love being on a full tank because I don't have to worry about running out or not going where I want to go.   When I carve out time with my Creator and really pour my heart into His word that is  what fuels me and in return I can know and embrace His sovereignty.  I can also trust that His power will continue to mold me and burn within me a new desire to serve Him fully, love Him wholeheartedly and push me to surrender to Him daily. So today I leave you with a great song that is being played over and over…FILL ME UP! J
                                   click on the link and be encouraged!!!! Fill me up...


  1. Thank you Holly for being you....and just that. You are a precious blessing to so many others and your commitment to Christ bleeds passion...the kind of passion that myself and so many others strive for. We all struggle with our own mishaps on a daily basis, but God sees us as perfect, and I am so thankful for that...always knowing that I can stand before him with every fault that I bare, brings me peace and joy like no other. Praying for you!


    Jessica Absher

  2. Loved this analogy. It is true that I enjoy driving more when I'm not worried if I'm going to make it to where I'm going because of a full tank of gas and how true that is with being filled up on God's word that I don't worry as much about where I'm going. Thank you for reminding me of this truth again. Do you mind if I borrow it for when I speak to my high school girls about being in God's word. I'm always looking for good stories for them.

  3. Ladies thank you for your thoughts and encouragement! :) hope our paths cross soon!