These past few months have been very hard for me. Adjusting to my dream job while really pushing through some things within me. I have learned what it means to truly rest and I have been forced to depend fully on God to meet my every need. I was reading in 2 Samuel chapter 5 and this verse gave me such hope.
"And David KNEW that the Lord had established him king over Israel, and that he had exalted his kingdom for the sake of his people Israel". (2 Samuel 5:12 ESV)
As soon as I saw that I underlined the words "David knew that the Lord". David had experienced death of a close friend, adversity, battles that resulted in massive bloodshed and still after all that waiting he KNEW that the fulfillment of his purpose was finally happening. He didn't look past that moment or back on what had happened he literally just rested in that moment of what he knew about God. I sometimes can't seem to see past my days and the writing of this book is grueling and I often want to say forget it, ministry is def my passion but takes up a lot of time, raising girls to understand and know their worth is mind boggling and keeps me on my face a lot. I could sit here and honestly list out every fear, dream, and frustration and get no where. But when I choose to list out what I know to be true about my Creator all my junk suddenly seems to be just that JUNK. Psalm 144:2 says this "He is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and he in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me. " When we speak out in the midst of pain freedom sets in and you can literally feel yourself moving past the circumstance and out of bondage. In the past I have been bound to time and restraints and "what ifs" and that only has left me questioning. These past few weeks have pushed me deeper into Gods word and the chains are rattling & falling off my heart as I walk in the hope of what I know. My God provides! He loves me with a relentless unfailing unconditional kinda love, He redeems and He has gifted me and purposed me and chosen me! I have regained some energy from my only sufficient source of strength and I am pressing in, resting and readying myself for what's coming next.